Thank you so much for standing by my side through some tough challenges. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful, loving husband who takes care of our children and me so well. He always puts his family first -and for that I am thankful. I am so grateful to my children who have been my shining light, my motivation and putting things into perspective so well. I am thankful for loving, giving supportive parents who never left my side. I am grateful for my sister and my brothers -they each loved and supported me in ways no one else could. I am grateful for my grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins for thier love and understanding and for thier many prayers and encouragement. I am so proud to be a part of the family I have been blessed with. My family is the greatest gift Heavenly Father has given me. They are a part of who I am. Being a family to me means what my family has shown me these past several months. We stand by one another and love and support each other through life's unavoidable rigors. We laugh together, cry together, and we never leave anyone behind. We all may be at different stages in our lives and we live our lives out as individuals with different challenges, talents and perspectives. But we are all on the same road, and we will arrive at our destination as a family!! My family has shown me exactly what this means. I pray I do that for them as they so lovingly have done for me. I am also grateful for the wonderful friends that I have that have gone out of thier way to show thier love and concern!! When you are in one of life's challenges, sometimes it seems so overwhelming that it's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel; and that you will ever reach that light. I think we feel alone as we are in the middle of it. But as we have faith, persevere, and trust - we do come out the other end of the challenge -probably not the same person we were before, and maybe not at all like we had hoped or thought would be the outcome. But we do have control over how we react to the challenges, the attitude we take, the free agency we have been given is always there. Hopefully we can take our challenges and turn them into something our Heavenly Father would be proud of -and even in the times where we are not coping well, I know our Heavenly Father understands and loves us just the same. In a perfect world we would all see our challenges as blessings all the time, and have a perfect attitude about them -but I think in reality sometimes we cope well and other times not so much. But that is all part of the plan -and the reality that we are all human. There will always be change and hardship, but there will always be blessings also. Sometimes life keeps throwing us punches one right after another -and the next punch comes before you've recovered from the previous punch. I know that's just life sometimes. But when that happens, and it's over a period of time -I think it takes time to regroup, to regain your footing. And even while you are regaining your footing, life is still throwing curves that we may have to recover from -but all the while -if you keep looking up never looking back -keep putting one foot in front of another, keeping hope and faith -you will reach your destination -whether that be answers you've been seeking, relief, or sometimes it brings more questions than answers. Time and patience is the great healer.
But knowing whatever I am going through-that it's exactly where my Heavenly Father wants me at the time -and trusting in that, even if I don't understand. My life is by far not my own-sometimes I like to think I am in control of my life -it's a cruel game I play with myself. And in that moment of thinking I do -there is always something to pull me out of my fantasy land of everything being perfect and in control. The truth is nobody is perfect and life sure isn't perfect. I am a hard worker, I was taught really young how to work hard. Sometimes I think if I work hard enough, and do my part -which is the easy part for me -I will recieve the answer I am looking for. The hard part for me is the not knowing, the waiting..you know the not planning ahead part -and of course not having control over what the answer may be -and accepting it. I know Heavenly Father does not give us more than we can handle -even though it may seem like it -he is all knowing, and knows us better than we know ourselves -this brings me a lot of comfort. He knows exactely what to place before us to help us grow and stretch -and applies just enough pressure not too little not too much -and hopefully in the end we will be what he had in store for our lives. I think we are given challenges to continually seek after HIM. I hope to seek after him just as strongly on a daily basis as I do when I am in a through of a challenge. But for me, the hardest part is trusting that the hard things in life are for a purpose. When it's hard to see a reason from my point of view-(being the mortal that I am) for some of the trials that have been placed in front of me -and not only me -my loved ones, my friends.. That's where faith and trust come in. I think the challenges of life never end. They are always there -I think the key is to learn to be grateful, to live life to it's fullest, serve those around you, and do your best.
Living in the midst of challenges -that is the true challenge. To never let challenges decide who you are -if you give them control -they will control you. I love the saying "I am a spiritual being experiencing a mortal life." I am not going to let life's challenges define who I am as a person, a wife, a mother. I am going to let challenges mold me into a better person, wife and mother. Again, our own free agency comes into play. We get to choose how we will react. And I know that our reactions are not always what they should be -but that is all part of the process of learning and growing. Learning to dance in the rain............I am sure it will take me a lifetime of practice to get this down. I guess some challenges are harder than others, some come and go, and others stay longer, while others may be with us a lifetime. But one things always stays constant in life, and that is our Saviors love for us, and his desire for us to return to him again someday. And whatever we may be going through at any given moment big or small, he is always there. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who loves me so much, he would place certain trials in my life, so I can accomplish my mission on this earth and the here after. Now, I just have to remember to let him lead and guide me so I can accomplish the mission he has in store for my life. I love staying organized and I am planner -I guess it helps me feel like I am in control. I like to know what's coming up so I can plan for it. Because I am naturally that way sometimes it's hard for me to wrap myself around something that is challenging my life. I didn't have it planned out, and I didn't get to choose it -what if I can't handle this? Putting my life in his hands, and trying to do and accomplish what he wants for me -really takes feeling lonely out of the picture -but it doesn't do much for me wanting and liking to feel in control and having things planned out -that's a work in progress. He has blessed me in ways I didn't think possible. Sometimes the answer is always there -you just don't see it -or you are not willing to accept what the answer is. Sometimes you have to submit to his will, whatever that may be, and learn to accept it, even if you don't understand and you've done your part and worked hard -sometimes you still don't recieve what you want. But he doesn't give us what we want. He gives us what we need. HE is always there. It took me awhile to sort things out in my heart, in my beliefs. Nothing like losing loved ones or going through personal challenges can strengthen you and break you at the same time. There is beauty in the breaking!!! I am living life more in the moment now, I am enjoying watching my kids accomplish things and just being a part of thier lives is amazing to me. I am more thankful, more forgiving, more understanding, more loving. Not that I wasn't before but my challenges have intensified my love for my family, the simple things in life, what really matters.
